Feeling punished

Today I’m just not feeling well. It’s one of those days where everything feels heavy and I’m slipping into a low, bleak mood. I keep asking myself, “What am I being punished for?” That thought has followed me through so much of my adult life. Memories surface easily — like the time at my cousin’sContinue reading “Feeling punished”

Why It’s Not That Simple

People often ask, “Why put yourself through IVF? Why not just adopt?” I understand why they ask — adoption is a beautiful, loving option and it’s something I’m open to. But it’s easy to suggest solutions when you haven’t lived my life. Wanting a biological child is not about discounting adopted children; it’s about aContinue reading “Why It’s Not That Simple”

Why I am here

Hello — I’m Ailleen. This is the place I’m starting to share pieces of my life: the hard, the hopeful, and everything in between. The past few years have been some of the most intense I’ve ever lived through. I’ve faced injury, job loss, the unimaginable grief of losing a family member to suicide, aContinue reading “Why I am here”